meet me in outer space!

they were there since the second i woke up this morning, the sorrow, the loneliness, the strange feeling that you couldn’t explain where it came..

wanted to call my mom, but sent her an sms instead, just asking how things were in jakarta.. replied with a terrible news, my grandfather had just passed away and my mom and others on the way to airport to catch any plane to padang

so sad, the sorrowness then grew even more.. my grandma passed away last january, it’s only four months ago.. i knew that she had fell ill for more than a year, but i couldn’t find any reason why my grandfather died.. and then suddenly ben folds’ “the luckiest” song popped into my mind.. one part went like this:

“next door there’s an old man who lived through his nineties and one day passed away in his sleep, his wife she stayed for a couple of days and passed away”

one may interpret this as another version to tell the so-called ‘love that keeps us alive’.. it’s like you live with and for someone, and when that person died, you lose your reason to live.. you wouldn’t kill yourself, you just stop ‘living’ and die.. maybe it’s what happened with my grandparents.. and with positive mental attitude, i consider it as a very romantic thing to do.. and realizing this made me somewhat glad for them.. i’m also glad that my grand father had the chance to see my cousin’s wedding just last month– the only happy thing that happened after my grandma’s death.. maybe it was his intention to wait for the wedding.. hmmmm…

but no… that wasn’t my only sad thing i concerned..

i realized that i’m losing friends at an unacceptable rate, i familiar with the phrase “we lose friends along the way”, but damn.. this is a really small country! one can travel 30 minutes from edge to edge and i have not been that busy with work either..

so i guess it’s time for introspection, it must be something wrong with myself.. i know i have a lot of bad traits and can be so picky, i can’t and don’t want to cover if i don’t like or uncomfortable with certain people, making friends for me is a long process..

yes, i should change.. i think..

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 17th, 2007 at 8:54 am and is filed under Current Affairs. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.